034 Susie Moore: Life Coach teaches us how we can appreciate ourselves and others despite stressful times

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In this episode, Barbara and Susie discuss:

The control that we have inside, both in our homes and in our minds.
Coaching versus therapy.
Social distancing versus emotional distancing.

Key Takeaways:

The judgment from others is what keeps us stuck.
Coaching is about being only in the present and living an incredible life now.
You are allowed to want more. Beliefs are so powerful and understanding those can help you to move forward.

“Live in your self-directed life where you’re approving of yourself and giving yourself the permission that you need to move forward. Whatever your intuition guides you to do, is going to be the most important piece in living an incredible life. And it has to be guided only by you.” — Susie Moore

Transcription

Barbara: Welcome to an episode of Marketing Tips for Doctors. I’m your host, Dr. Barbara Hales. Today, we have a really exciting episode. We have with us today Susie Moore.

Susie: I’m so happy to be here. Thank you for having me, Dr. Barbara.

Barbara: Yes. Welcome. Susie Moore is a British life coach and an author. She’s been featured on the Today Show, Refinery29, Forbes, oprah.com and more. Again, welcome, Susie.

Susie: I’m delighted to be here with you. Thank you for having me. I love these conversations more than anything else.

Barbara: Well, you know, today, we have something that is valuable to everybody in that Susie is a coach that helps with gratitude and bringing joy into your life. So tell me, how do we do that in these times of stress?

Susie: Oh! I know it’s a difficult time right now. I think the world is naturally and understandably very anxious. We all feel very uncertain about the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen and what’s going to unfold. So, if you’re feeling a lot of these fear-based emotions, it’s very, very normal, right? And it’s important to feel them. We can’t just skip over them and we don’t want to just put our head in the sand.

It’s important to be responsible and informed and be paying attention to the right things so we can follow through on the right things. But the one thing that I say that I focus on specifically is in a world where you really can’t control much out there, we’re quite powerless to control really anything out there, we still have a lot of control inside.

Meaning, within our self-quarantine in the homes that we occupy however small they may be and then of course within us and within our minds, we have all the control. I like to focus on what it is that I have power over right now and understanding that even though we’re in this very unique position that I still have options and it’s up to me how I spend my time and where I put my focus.

Barbara: Well, that is important. Now, something very exciting I’d like to tell everybody, if I can, and that’s you have a new book that’s coming out in three weeks.

Susie: Yes, that’s right. On April 7th.

Barbara: And her book is called Stop Checking Your Likes: Shake Off the Need for Approval and Live an Incredible Life. So how do we lead an incredible life?

Susie: It’s a good question. It is a big question. I think the reason, well the big reason I wrote this book was because I realized working as a coach with all sorts of individuals, different types of people, different professions, you know, really a huge range of people in my past as a coach, I realized that a lot of the things that hold us back aren’t even necessarily the things that we think.

Sometimes, you think it’s fear of failure. We’re worried to put ourselves out there. And that’s true. But what I realized is as human beings, we’re very resilient. It’s not the thing like the failure or the mistake that will ruin us and make us feel a lot of pain. It’s the judgment that we worry about from other people that keeps us stuck. Often, the thing that goes wrong isn’t the real problem. It’s how we think the world is interpreting us.

I created this book to really debunk the myth that people are always paying attention to us and really just share the fact that yes, people have their opinions, people we love and trust too including our parents but living your self-directed life where you’re approving of yourself and giving yourself the permission that you need to move forward in whatever your intuition guides you to do is going to be the most important piece in living an incredible life. And it has to be guided only by you.

Barbara: Well, that’s certainly important. Now, you’re a life coach but a lot of people are saying, exactly what is a life coach? Maybe you can explain it to our listeners.

Susie: Yes. I mean, it’s a great question. And sometimes, people get life coaching kind of confused with therapy. They are so different. And it’s a very fair question. So essentially, if you work with a therapist, often that’s to do with going back, so working on your past, understanding it, understanding your feelings.

With coaching, it’s very much about the present moment and your future and taking action. So the same way that there’s a sports coach that coaches your team and gives advice and listens and sees strengths and really be there as an encourager, that’s what a life coach does for you in your relationships, when it comes to your health, your money, your mindset. We work with people in any life area.

Barbara: Oh, that’s good to know. So do you take referrals from local physicians who find patients that are, you know, stuck in life? They’re anxious and depressed more than we all are at this moment and they think this person needs something extra. Do you take referrals like that from physicians?

Susie: When I was kind of building up my business, I was doing a lot of one-on-one coaching which is very valuable. And I recommend if anybody is looking for some help, some guidance, they want to create some goals and set up really a list of what you want to accomplish in the short and long term, a coach is an excellent resource for that.

Now, because my business has grown, I tend to coach more in a group setting and in a course-based setting. So I direct people to my website, susie-moore, where I have a range of courses available because that’s the best use of me right now.

Barbara: And what type of person is likely to engage you for your services?

Susie: Oh, I’d say anybody who wants to improve their condition. So maybe you feel a bit stuck, maybe you feel as if you’re kind of coasting through life, maybe you have this question like surely there’s more to life than this, you know.

That’s certainly a very common feeling that we all have because a lot of us settle without even realizing it. We think that we have to accept what we’ve been given. We shouldn’t ask for too much. We feel guilty if we want more.

But you’re absolutely allowed to want more. And a coach can help you kind of uncover that and see where it is that you would really like to be and what’s holding you back and specifically the beliefs. Like beliefs are very powerful because they’re invisible and we’re not even always aware that we have them. So understanding our beliefs is a very important part too.

Barbara: Well, that’s certainly true. Now, there is a certain percentage of people who wind up spending their day in isolation already and now with the self-imposed isolation, it’s really making their feelings of self-doubt worse. So do you recommend people reach out to those that they love to just express gratitude for not only their life but the lives of the other people whose lives are in theirs?

Susie: Oh, yes. I mean, it’s proven that loneliness is the biggest cause of stress. And like you said, people are already lonely. A lot of us feel lonely a lot of the time. And now, it’s of course naturally completely exacerbated by the current situation. One thing that I keep repeating is that social distancing isn’t the same as emotional distancing. And luckily, we’re so equipped in this day and age to reach out.

We all have many screens at home. Well, most of us do. And we have the capacity to reach out to anybody anywhere with a message, with a Facetime, with a Zoom call like we’re doing now. So, we have the capacity to be connected. And I would say if you’re feeling down to reach out to other people. We want to hear from each other. And often if you’re reaching out because you’d like some connection, the person you’re reaching out to has the same feeling as you. It’s important not to wait and to be generous and to take initiative in this too.

Barbara: Well, you certainly bring out some really great points. Do you have any additional tips for our listeners today?

Susie: Yes. I would say at this time, look, it’s certainly — We don’t know how long this is going to last, right? There’s a real question mark over it. And again, all the feelings are natural and allowed. The thing that I’ve noticed is that busy minds are typically very healthy, right? If you only kind of sit and ruminate and future trip and worry, well, we can kind of get ourselves into this place of panic. And so I recommend remaining busy when you can.

There are always things to do at home. There are so many things that you could be learning online. I’m sure that there are a lot of projects at home that you’ll be grateful for one day you seized the moment now to do because there will be a time when this is over where we can all run out into the streets and hug each other again which will be so wonderful. You have to know that you have a lot of control at home.

What is it that you focus on is up to you. And this period although it’s certainly not desirable, it’s not what we’ve chosen, it will be over. And maybe just think about ways that you could use it so you’ll be happy and satisfied when our time is up.

Barbara: Absolutely. Just chipping away at our ever-elongated to-do list is enough to give us relief and happiness.

Susie: Yes. I mean, when you think about it, when we’re busy, we’re never depressed, right? When our mind is busy, when we’re focused, when we’re active, whatever that may be. I mean, most people have been telling me they’ve been completing different projects at home, in their gardens, doing tasks around the house that they’ve been waiting for, finally writing that book that they’ve been talking about for a long time.

There are many things that we could be doing. So yeah, think about what is it that you can do that will make you feel good, that you might enjoy doing and get sucked in. Don’t think that you have to complete everything. And look, if you need a break right now, take it, right?

It’s entirely up to you how you spend this time. But sometimes, I even think just put a timer on, right? Fifteen minutes and get busy doing something. And I bet when that time is up, you’ll probably want to keep going.

Barbara: Well, I really appreciate you being with us today, Susie. And what I would like is to let everybody know that you can preorder her book because she has so much more helpful advice for you. You can preorder her book so that you get it before it runs out. It’s stopcheckingyourlikes.com. That’s stopcheckingyourlikes.com. Well, thank you so much, Susie. It was really fascinating.

Susie: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to speak with you. Take care of yourself and be safe.

Barbara: You too. Bye now.

Barbara: This has been Marketing Tips for Doctors with your host, Dr. Barbara Hales. Until next time.

Connect with Susie Moore:

Twitter: @susiemoore

Facebook: Susie Moore

Website: Susie-Moore.com

Book: Stop Checking Your Likes: Shake Off the Need for Approval and Live an Incredible Life

YouTube: Susie Moore

LinkedIn: Susie Moore

Instagram: @susie.moore

Connect with Barbara Hales: